My First Winter Experience | SWEDEN

@my aunt house

Whenever I hear the word winter nothing else comes to my mind but SNOW!!.. ooohh soo SNOW... I really love snow even if I only saw that  on a television or in a movie before. May panahon pa nga na ipinapanalangin kong umulan sana ng snow sa Pilipinas eh hehe :) Parang winter wonderland lang. Gusto ko mafeel at gusto ko maexperience!!!.. kaya kahit paano masaya ako kasi tinupad ni santa ang isa sa mga nasa wish list ko hehe at yun nga ay ang makakita ng Snowy snow!!..at OO!!nga!! masarap nga talaga maglaro at maghiga-higa sa snow eh..(kids at heart eh!!)

Kaya ako di ko sinayang ang bawat sandali... Na maramdaman kong bumata ulit. Alam ko  na I am soo blesssed dahil di lahat ng ng tao ay binibigyan ng pakakataon na maexperience ang mga bagay na kagaya nito. Kaya pinasasalamatan ko mga bagay na nararanasan ko :).

Ate Rose at ako sa labas ng bahay

Continuation lang of course!! hehe you know what guys!! even if you'll have to wear 3 clothes per day ok lang!! may snow eh! :) at kahit traumatic magbihis ng 5 minuto dahil sa dami ng damit makalabas lang!! ok lang!! may snow naman eh at masaya parin.:)

Kaya nang makita kong nag-snow...I  ran out of the house kahit isang jacket lang suot ko just to feel the snowwy snow flakes!! gusto ko maexperience!! gusto ko sila mahawakan!!  at higit sa lahat, gusto ko maramdaman ang pagdampi nila sa balat ko!!! Sobrang hindi ko na inintindi ang lamig... sobrang feeling ko... eto na, hawak ko na sila ngayon. Wala na ako sa harap ng  tv at totoo na!! Ang sarap pala ng feeling at supperrduper heart fulfilling para sakin.. i just smiled  all day kasi di ko lubos akalain diba :)

Sobrang winter wonderland for me... kulang nalang si snow white :) Naisip ko lagi nila sinasabi na pwede ba yan sa halo-halo.. hmmm, haha hindi naman siya kagaya ng crushed ice na nabibili sa store kasi napaka-pino nya para sakin eh. Maybe yung mga tumigas na sa kalsada baka pwede pa haha.. anyway hindi ko lng alam if safe siya gamitin for that :). I really enjoyed touching it!! parang pulbos sa mukha ko at kahit silipin kami ng mga neighboorhoodsss ok lang!!..Kiber ko! haha once in a lifetime lang yan sakin :) Sabi nga nila sakin "welcome to SNOW HELL!! just enjoy"!!hahaha :)

I dont care if they dont like snow.. basta ako enjoy ako!!! Gagawin ko ang lahat ng pwede kong gawing sa aking wonderland  dahil yun ang ikasasaya ko hahaha :) Sobrang enjoy ko mag-ski at magpadulas dulas sa yelo... di ko na alam kahit tumulo pa ang sipon ko!!! who cares!! lol :)

Kahit saan ako tumingin kulay puti nakikita ko!! :) yung mga bike at mga sasakyan lubog na sa nyebe.. buti nalng gumagana ang mga heater nila!! everyday may naghahakot ng snow sa kalsada at tinatambak nila sa gilid ng kalsada :) they put pebbles too (maliliit na stone)para di madulas... :) yung lawn punong puno ng snow!! pwede na ako malunod sa kasiyahan at lumangoy langoy hehe :). Natural, lagi lang naman masarap sa umpisa!!  hehehe lalo na at bago lang na 

na-experience.. habang tumatagal ang snow na dating kinsasabikan ko pasakit pala ang dala haha :) pero love ko parin siya :).. Bakit kanyo?...dahil sa lamig dito umaatake ang katamaran bluess dahil narin sa sobrang lamig!! katamaran gumalaw!! katamaran lumabas at katamaran maligo hahaha (joke!!)

Ngayon ko naisip!!...Na kaya pala masaya ang pasko natin sa Pilipinas dahil tuyo ang kalsada.. :) maraming bata ang nagtatakbuhan at gumagala sa mga bahay-bahay para mamasko. Walang iindahing lamig at basang bota't sapatos!! eh kung ganito ba naman ang christmas mo.. at puro puti ang nakikita mo!! ang saya-saya siguro!! hehe (syempre kabaligtaran yun!)... Hahanapin mo parin ang simoy ng paskong pinoy!! [as if kung taong bahay kayo na  kagaya ko].. ok lng kahit sa loob ng bahay!! pasok ka rito!! 

Christmas is in the air

Magkaroon man o walang snow sa atin tiyak masaya parin ang pasko lalo na kung sama-sama ang pamilya mo. Kung makikita ito ng mga batang nangangarap ng snow sa pasko!! siguradong maiisip nilang wala silang napamaskuhan dahil sa lamig at siguradong nasa loob lang sila ng bahay...hehe parang ako lang nung bata pa ko!!... nangangarap na sana umalan ng puting snow!! at gagawa ako ng snow man!! :) at ngayong naexperience ko na ang may snow...masaya at mahirap.. kaya eto lang masasabi ko: pahirap pala ang my snow!! hehe :)

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My Christmas Wish List - 2010

Christmas and New Year is just a few weeks away. So I figured out that I could make a little list of what I would love to have for the holidays (not that someone could actually get me these things ha kung meron lang namn haha😂). These aren’t exactly what I want others to give me kasi baka mabigat sa bulsa kaya kahit greetings nalang from them okey na 😉 and if I receive one eh di lalong mas maganda 😊

1. Netbook bag - Although ok pa naman yung gamit ko, naisipan ko na parang gusto ko nang palitan yung lalagyan ng aking pinakamamahal-mahal na netbook😊. Kung makakapagsalita lang siguro yung bag baka nagresign na sakin yun haha (picture below). Kung ako papipiliin mas type ko yung black with floral design or yung blue since fave color ko yung blue.Gusto ko sya kasi zipper pocket na siya unlike sa iba na hinde diba so feeling ko secured na secured yung notebook ko hehe guys I saw that online at http://www.etsy.com/. Kaya kung sakaling makatanggap man ako nito sa pasko😊.

2. Satsuma Body polish by The body shop - I like body this scurb kaya kung magbibigay ka ng scrub sakin eto ang piliin nyo for me 😂. This gel-based, foaming polish loaded with exfoliating crushed walnut shells and loofah particles will give you a smooth skin ever kaya naman sobrang nagustuhan ko siya nung niregaluhan nung dati kong boss, since then eh bumibili na ko nito. I will recommend it to you guys because it leaves my skin soft, supple and scented [orange flavor pa]. It cost only 695 Php and uy big size na yun ha 😉(picture below).

 
 

3. Conti's Mango Bravo - Oh so yummy cake! please regaluhan nyo ko nito Lol! namiss ko kasi bigla.Kahit yung maliit nalng hehe can you imagine sweet mangoes and soft sponge cake with layers of caramel and mango ice cream on it 😋yummy!. There are two size of this cake the small & big one pero okey na sakin yung maliit as what I've said earlier.

4. Tsinelas/Slippers- Ayan medjo pumunta nalng tayo sa mas mura hehe kahit walang tatak ok na sakin. Hindi naman ako brand conscious eh 😂. Hindi nalang ko magalagay ng pictures baka mahal na tsinelas lang mailagay ko haha. Anything as long na isang pares ng tsinelas baka kasi isa lang ang maibigay eh hehe. 

5. Stylus O2 XDa mini- Acctually recently ko lang nawala yung stylus ko. Sinama ko na sa list ko kasi if makareceive ako ng stylus this x-mas sobrang saya ko na 😂 and for those who don't know where to buy that eh sa SM City. Sad to say di ko na matandaan yung name nung store eh.  

Iba ang Simoy ng Paskong Pinoy | Walang Kapares

Pasko na sinta ko :)

Well, sabi nga nila iba ang paskong Pinas 😉 kaya na-isipan ko kung ano nga ba ang pinagkaiba ng pasko natin sa pasko nila? Hmmm kung tutuuisin nga eh pareho lang naman tayo ng ipinag-diriwang tuwing buwan ng December kaya naman naispan ko isa-isahin ang mga bagay na talga namang nakakamiss sa Paskong Pinas!..  👍

• CHRISTMAS SONG - that have been played  kahit na September palang kasi naman most of us start to play Christmas song pagsaktong-BER month na LOL! sobrang advance na advance.

• CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS- All over and same as above already and probably not as early as September but at least after All Saint's day and All Soul's day kung baga (Todos Los Santos). (Todos Los Santos for those who don't know, that is all soul's day).

• CAROLING - Marinig mo lang ang kantang, "Thank you, thank you ang babarat ninyo, thank you!" sabay takbo ang mga bata Lol! 😅 Kailangan nang magsave ng barya kung ayaw nyong makatikim sa mga batang kumakanta haha 😅

• SIMBANG GABI and all it entails - Puyatan at isang oras na nakatayo sa misa pero that's nothing compared to what we get in return di ba?. Sino ba bang ayaw makumpleto ang simbang gabi at sabi nga ni father eh bawal ang absent 😉.  

• PUTO BUMBONG AT BIBINGKA - Of course, sino ba ang makakalimot sa pagkaing ito. na hindi mawawala after mong magsimbang gabi esp sa madaling araw para derecho almusal na hehe.

• MONITO MONITA - Eto ang namiss ko ng bongga! I remember when I was much younger, we used to do this in the family and with our relatives oftentimes ginaganap pa namain sa labas ng bahay namin kasama mga kapitbahay namin.  Grabe, enjoy to talaga and lots of fun kahit na mura lang ang mga gifts at mga palaro pa. 

• PAROL-  oo nga may parol namng mabibili sa ibang bansa at may sarili rin silang style ng parol, but it's still not the same with what we have sa Pinas.  Mas maganda pa rin yung  dito sa atin kasi mas colorful and creative at kumukuti-kutitap ang mga parol na nakasabit sa mga bintana. 

• NOCHE BUENA - Eto ang miss ko! HANDANG PINOY! walang kapares at katulad 💚 However, it's not really the food that matters.  It's just nice to be still up by around 12 midnight by the dinner table, eating with the family after midnight mass and greeting each other a Merry joyful Christmas 👌. 

• Magsimba kahit man lang tuwing Pasko - I think narinig ko na ito before sa iba ang  "Nagsisimba lang ako tuwing Pasko at Bagong Taon." Nyekz!  Kung pako-confess ako ngayon at tanungin ako ng pari when was the last time I went to church ... ay naku patay!

• DECEMBER 25 CELEBRATION - Trivia: In Sweden, Dec 24th is more important than the 25th.  24 December is the highlight of Christmas. Schoolchildren are on holiday, as well as most parents. People here celebrate the 24th big time and open their gifts that day while the 25th ay simpleng kainan lang ng tira-tira from the night before 😉  Namiss ko na sa Pinas na both are equally important, kasi sa 24th we have the Noche Buena and it keeps us excited for the 25th when we open our gifts. Sa 25 doon din bumibisita ang mga kamag-anak at inaanak. Ito rin ang araw na sobrang gusto mong i-rampa ng pamasakong damit mo at ipunin ang aguinaldo at magpunta sa STAR CITY - walang taguan ha ninong at ninang! 😅

Sa lahat ng nasa Pinas.. be glad and be proud that we have these Christmas traditions  because yan ang hinahanap ng mga kababayan natin na nasa ibang bansa huhuhu LIKE ME!!... ika nga - ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES! :)

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All the way to Göteborg or Gothenburg, Sweden

Hello guys!, I'm back.. as a continuation of my Boras experienced lol (if you remember my boras trip). So here I am again sharing my happiness and fun. I am still trying to write a post on my experiences hehe 😁so bear with me . I had so much fun staying in Sweden and my mind is overloaded with memories and experiences. I have so much to share and soooooo much to tell 😊. Here I come, I always say that!!.

Natatandaan ko lang noong bata pa ko lagi kaming nakakakita ng airplane sa himpapawid ng mga kaibigan ko. Most of the time naiisip ko lagi yung mga pangarap namin.. I remeber pa nga, one of my friend says "Sino kaya sa ating mag-kakaibigan ang unang makakasakay ng eroplano at makaka-alis ng Pilipinas!"..😊 Sobrang natatawa nalang ako kung naiisip ko yon, well they're all happy naman when I left before kasi sa mga pangarap namin na kwentuhan eh ako lang yung nakabasag (updated lang lahat na pala kami nakasakay ng eroplano 👌). 

Anyway, I could say that I got out of my own box! (bakasyon mode) exploring to see what outside of it and guess what?...I really liked what I saw sobrang ibang iba talga ang ibang bansa pagdating sa mga modernong bagay at infrastructure nila. Back again in my Gothernburg post - Liseberg Amusement Park, our first destination.. hehe :) sobrang saya ... naisip ko tuloy: Kung sa rides lang palong-palo walang sinabi ang Star City sa pasay hehe :). FYI: Liseberg amusement park is the biggest amusement park na matatagpuan sa Gothenburg. Sabi nga nila wag mo kakaligtaan na di ito puntahan 👌. So after we visit one of my aunt's friend who lived in Goteborg they planned na mamasyal sa Liseberg.

Liseberg entrance

its me :) strike a pose

I was there ScReAmMiNG!!!

riding on tram (liseberg station)

Welcome to Borås,Sweden

Yeeihaw!! Göteborg or Gothenburg. They said this place is the second largest city in Sweden after the city called Stockholm and yup! We been there last month and it's really fun. Me, my cousin Amy and my Aunt😊. But before that galing muna kami ng Borås where we visited tone of my aunt's friend Ate Percy and it's just only bus away from Gothenburg (parang manila to cavite lang kung sa pinas. It takes 2 hours, I guess or 3 kung my trapik sa SLEX LOL!). Sobrang bago kami makarating ng Gothernburg eh ang dami muna naming dinaanan. So first stop over BORÅS!!

Isipin mo na commute lang yan from starting point Umeå➡Stockholm➡Herrljunga➡Borås➡Gothernburg sobrang hindi ko na namalayan na ganon pala kalayo yung pinag daanan namin lol para lang sa bakasyon na ito, parang from North to South ang ginawa namin :)

I searched for the map just to show how far it was hahaha :) here po yung map :

road trip ... anyone? :)

What I like Most in Sweden

There are lots of  things  I did in Sweden na di ko naman usually  ginagawa sa pinas. Well its kinda late na to post it but since malungkot ako dahil sa nangyari sa aking lovelife hehehe.. Isip naman ng mga masasayang bagay na ginawa ko at nakakapagpasaya sakin :)  Kaya eto mag share nalang nga mga bagay bagay :).  For me here are the list of things I did in sweden na di ko karaniwang ginagawa sa bahay :) simulan ko na sa :

Magbike.. yup, as in magbike.. I cant even remember how many times i fell off on the bike and got bruises on my knees and arms. Trying hard hahaha :D kasi naman kahit yung 4 yrs old na pinsan ko alam magbike eh.Pahiya naman ako kung di ako magbike hahahaat kahit ihatid ko sya sa school eh nagbbike talga kami at mas mabilis pa siyang magbike kesa sakin ah.!! haha

Kahit na yung tiyahin ko!! supermarket, Centrum town at kahit na pumunta sa park.. we have to take a bike although she has a car ha..I remember nga my aunt told me that.. every people in sweden had their own bike hahaha natawa naman ako..so she baught me a new bike.. hehe yes.. just for me.. take not .. mountain bike pa yun!! I know its a form of exercise and its environmental friendly pa kaya everyone does it ang magbike!! kids, mid-age and even yung mga granpa's and grandma's magagaling pa magbike ha.

I know we have bike sa pinas but its not safe to do that in our street. We dont have bike lanes  tapos dami pa bata sa kalsada kaya kung ayaw mo makasagasa at kuyugin hehe much better na sumakay ng tricad or pedicab hehe :D

Here I'm on my bike :D

It was nice to see people riding bike lalo na if they are families. Sobrang bonding time din nami ito kahit ilang beses ako bumagsak hahaha :D Next thing I like most also in sweden is that people like to bake...yes, correct ang mag bake ng mga cakes and breads and anything to be baked off.. hahaha :D

Magbake.. yup, as in maging panadero.. haha kidding!! When I was there, bonding time din namin yung magbake and of course my cousins fave bulle!! haha :) My aunt and I always had a great time in baking kasi parang it just came out on our mouth na "tara magbake tayo".. :) and it was really fun (as if we dont have oven naman sa pinas). If im not mistaken ang dami narin naman naming nabake and my cousin all time fave bulle is number one on the list... oh yeah we made some shopao too: asado flavor :) since my aunt is craving for a shopao kaya ayun gumawa kami haha :) Swedish people daw kasi like magbakes ng mga cookies and torta for their fika :) Parang sa dami kong napuntahang bahay and some of them are my aunt's friend and I usually checked their houses and wholla lahat nga may mga oven hehe :)

Amy and I are baking her fave bulle!! 

Anyway i just include baking on my list kasi diba.. we all know naman na hindi lahat ng tao afford bumili ng oven lalo na dito sa pinas :) Like me, sa bahay wala naman talaga kami oven hehe :) Hmm I will include also on my list yung Ice fishing.

Mag-Ice Fishing.. amazed!! well, me too hehe it was my first time to went fishing over the icy river.. and it really chilled me to death haha :) I cant imagine pwede palng mangisda sa nagyeyelong river... At first, i was sooo scared that ice might gonna break anytime kasi ang dami namin sa river nakapatong.. :) syempre my cute little pinsan is brave and mocking me too hehe so i was not patatalo sa kanya hahaha :) I enjoyed that day kasi first time ko mangisda at sa isang maliit na butas lang .. It amused me if im gonna catch any fish that time.. 

Waiting for the fish ..lol!! 

Aside sa  Ice fishing. Yung pag bake gusto ko rin yung tinatawag nilang princess cake and its really yummy!! my aunt and I baked that too. Lahat nung ingredients mabibili lang sa mga supermarket at ready na.. so all you have to do is that you just arrange it as a cake. :) Wala siyang icing like sa mga cakes natin dito sa pinas.

This is how it looks like :) They called it princess cake ako gumawa nyan este nag arrange lang pala :)

**Medyo inaantok narin ako... kaya mybe next time ko naman isulat yung iba pang gusto ko dahil sa sobrang dami ng gusto ko ikwento..  naabutan na ako ng antok.. hehehe

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Memoir Sweden

The title itself say what i want to tell with you guys :). I'm just excited to share my whole experienced staying in Sweden for about 6 months reminiscing the place I've been too :). Sobrang late na, I know, hehehe kasi naman ngayon lang din ako nag- update ng blog ko. When I was there kasi wala ako time na magsenti mode hehe maybe because I was too busy roaming around and exploring the place :D  but anyway here’s the part 1 of my past journey - Sweden!!

Hello DOHA :)

Doha, Qatar was my first stop over and I need to change plane for my connecting flight from Doha to Arlanda Airport. I waited for about 1 hour in the airport. So what I did is that, I keep on looking around, ikot-ikot lang sa loob ng airport at mag-hanap ng makakausap. Yup, mostly pinoy pa naman yung makikita mo around the airport so less kaba for me haha everything  was new to me lalo na at  first out of the country trip ever ko iyon! yup, heard it right?.. FIRST time na ako lang naman ang mag isang magttravel and take note AKO lang as in ako lang :(. I was really nervous by that time because I was in a foreign land although nasa Asia pa naman ako lol. What more kung nasa puro snow na ako. Kung sa Pinas lang, just drop me anywhere else and I can assure you that I will be able to find my way back home in less than an hours hahaha but a thousand miles away? goodluck sakin! (wala tayo pamasahe pabalik kung sakali) tapos hindi namn ako ganon kagaling mag english kaya hahaha grabe kung pwede lang wag na magsalita haha!!

Anyway back again sa aking life time trip ever! I went via Qatar airlines and thus started out my Sverige adventure. I already noticed lots of differences from our airport to the other airports I've been too. All the way up to each plane's staff hanggang sa mga facilities that they have, ibang-iba sa atin and I must say that it is true! na napag-iiwanan na talaga yung bansa natin.

It was a blessing in disguised also that there are two Swedish couple  next on my seat who came from a vacation from our country (Philippines)  and they asked me if  I am a Filipina and of course I say Yes!! hehehe. The woman and I had a little bit talks about my country how they really like it and she say good thing about us as well, proud naman ang lola nyo hehehe.

So ayun na nga bumiyahe tayo ng milya milya, almost 12 hours on a plane, three airports and 2 connecting flights at ang ending! totally haggard but worth it naman 👌. When I arrived in Arlanda Airport in Stockholm I can almost see the white ground filled with snow on my plane window and I know for sure that I was there already! at last!. The couple help me through out my next flight in Arlanda (domestic flight to Umeå). They even called my aunt to say I'm already in Stockholm. So wait ako ulit ng 5 oras para domestic flight naman from Arlanda to Umeå, Sweden where is my last destination. And AGAIN ikot-ikot muli sa airport ng Arlanda hindi sya kasing laki ng Qatar Airport pero it feels like Europe na talaga lol syet! iba na rin ang amoy ng simoy ng hangin Europe na Europe na  talga!:) too bad wala na ako battery to have some pictures eh sa haba ba naman ng ibinayahe ko kainis nga eh.

Hello Umea, Im here na!!

So, I went out of the plane, At last! Nasa Umeå na nga ako talga! Excited lang ako talga tumakbo palabas ng eroplano hehehe and I feel how cold it is outside ang lameg!! I almost see the snow!! hahaha  grabe ibang iba ang feeling na kahit saan ako tumingin ibang ibang mga tao wala na ako talaga sa Pinas!. It was either blonde or red hair or skinny or white, 6-footer people  mapababae or lalaki man. No moreno people (only me hahaha) no small people(like me) not at least Asian-looking people (kundi ako lang). My first thought was to looked for my aunt who is waiting for me in the departure area. Then I saw asian-looking like me..oh! yeah it was my aunt waving with my cute cousin Amy!! :) Halleluja! its really cold outside yung jacket ko walang silbi sa lamig hahaha good thing my aunt brought winter jacket kasi alam niyang giginawin ako ng bongga!

My cousin Amy at ako :)

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--jOkes for laugh..haha!!--

I saw some funny jokes in one forum and reading it somewhat ease my boredome feeling... nakakawala pa ng stresss at yung iba kinuha ko lang sa blog site ko na multiply and some of that eh sa ibang comic books parang nakakatuwa kasi na mag compile ng mga jokes at ishare sa lahat wag lang po kayo bagutin sa kakabasa :) medyo korni siguro yung iba pero at least eh napatawa kayo at napangiti 😁 enjoy reading!!!! 

************************************************************************

 This is kinda Long .... yet really funny :)

Never mess with a Pinoy.

A Filipino goes to Woolworth’s in Australia . He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious.

He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Filipino to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Filipino goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the Filipino finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Filipino to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Filipino goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.

The following week the Filipino comes to Woolworth’s with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately pulls it out. He shouts at the Filipino, "What the hell! This is shit, you idiot!"

The Filipino calmly replies, "Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper?"

**********************************************************************************

An airplane from San Francisco to Manila makes a distress call to control tower.

Pilot: We don't have any fuel, 400 miles from shore. Give your instructions, over!
Control Tower: Ok! Repeat after me. Our Father, who art in heaven.

**********************************************************************************

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said,

“Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true.”

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian’s turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, “SH*T!!!!!!!………”

*********************************************************************************

Man went to confession.. .
Man: Father, during the war, a beautiful young lady asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in the attic.
Father: That's a very good gesture, you need not confess.
Man: But as the days went, she repaid me with daily sexual favors.
Father: That is still forgiven my son.
Man: But I have another question.
Father: What is it my son?
Man: Shall I tell her the war is over? smile

*********************************************************************************

Three robbers broke inside the bank shortly after midnight. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank’s audio tape system, one robber said, “At least we’ll have a bit to eat.”

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.
Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

**********************************************************************************

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,
there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on”. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

**********************************************************************************

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